An Open Letter to Leo, Following the Aftermath

Sunday

April 28, 2013

13:40

Dear Leo,

I know that this is a bad idea. I know that I'm taking a great risk in writing and putting this out there. I know that this won't make things any easier for us and that perhaps all the wounds -- no matter how far or how little they've healed -- will open up again.

But can you allow me this one chance at selfishness? Because I just have to say it.

TAKE MY PICTURE: The Street Style Phenomenon

If you plan to walk the streets of any major fashion capital – New York, London, Paris, Milan – on Fashion Week, you better brace yourself for the sheer mayhem and pandemonium that you will encounter. Why? Because from an outsiders point of view, that is most probably definitely what you will see.

Imagine a handful of eccentrically-/impeccably-dressed individuals walking around and surrounded by a large flock of photographers. It’s crazy and overwhelming, and you would think for a second that the show has already started. (It hasn’t.)

And that’s not counting that other group of eccentrically-/impeccably-dressed individuals that you will see a few meters away, taking seemingly-gratuitous photos of themselves and of each other.

What’s all the fuss about? What’s with the ruckus?

That, my friends, is the phenomenon that is street style photography.

January Goals

Keep believing that things will get better.

It's 11:11PM and I am typing this post with the hopes of being able to finish it by midnight. It's the last day of the month of January, and as late and futile as it may seem (and it undoubtedly is), I will still share what my goal is/was for this month.

To be honest, I tried to come up with a list of goals that pretty much aligned with the previous ones. I wanted something specific and concrete -- something that can be ticked off easily once they are done.

Perhaps, it is a conspiracy spearheaded by my subconscious. Being relatively young and dazed and undecided in many aspects of real life, perhaps I am subconsiously luring myself into a facade of control and productivity. Perhaps, my subconscious has planned this whole "monthly goals list" so I can say at the end of each month that I have at least done and achieved something.

But I digress.

To be frank, this month of January pretty much belongs to the "could've been better" category. I had spend three weeks out of the office, isolated and working at home, thanks to a bout of measles (and apparently dengue, which I can't really believe) that had bloomed out of nowhere. I committed myself to doing a 365 Writing Project which has so far not progressed as well as I hoped -- I realize that this was a not-so good idea, given that I already wrote for a living and by the end of each day, I am out of energy to write something just for the heck of it.

It's safe to say that I'm pretty much bummed about how things played out. I wasn't even able to whip some graphics up for this post.

It's like one gigantic pity party of one that's not pitiful enough.

Which would make it just a party of one, which is not so great as well.

Do you get what I'm saying? Me neither.

Hence, the goal.

As I write these words down, it is now 11:50PM. It's ten minutes 'til February.

And did I mention that I'll be going to Zambales this weekend for a getaway? I can't wait. I'm excited.

I feel better already.

So, I guess in the end, I was able to accomplish my goal for January, huh?

Project 365: A Hundred A Day

Weeks before 2013, I was toying with the idea of doing a passion project. More often than not, I found myself restless and craving for some sort of movement in my life that went beyond my work in the office, and the endless hours I spent in the black hole that is the Internet.

Since a brand new year was coming up, and everybody’s calendars are going back to zero, I figured that a Project 365, was the most logical way to go. It also wasn't that hard to decide on what kind of year-long project I wanted to do – my writing aspirations have never been a secret after all.

(And yet despite these claims, my writing dreams always tend to find itself on the backseat more than I would like to admit, thanks to my work and my own laziness.)

This project is an attempt to push myself and jumpstart my creativity once again. Although, I would admit that this would be quite the challenge. I tried my hand at NaNoWriMo back in 2011, and I didn't even last a week. I am quite rubbish at these things, truth be told.

But hey, a girl’s got to try.

Just in case, you are curious, I’ll be posting them on my fiction blog under a rather obvious title format, Project 365: Day X. This is to differentiate from other works that I might post in between.

The Farewell Speech of a Small-Town Beauty Queen

"When I was younger, I remember watching all these glamorous women gliding on stages around the world. I remember their mega watt smiles, their grace and eloquence, and like every young girl, I wanted to be like them.

Fast forward to a decade or so, that dream was still that, a dream. Growing up as a big girl, I believed that the stage wasn't my place. There were other young women who were smarter and slimmer, much more beautiful and eloquent than I.

Joining the Mutya ng San Fernando three years ago was my attempt in fighting my insecurities. Winning the crown was an added blessing. So I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude and appreciation to those who believed in me through all these years:

To the members of the Dizon Village Community, to my loved ones, my family and my friends, and finally to the panel of judges who deemed me worthy, thank you very much.

To the contestants, I wish you luck, and may whoever succeed me in this title, strive to be an inspiration to young women and girls everywhere. God bless."

*

Last November 24th, I did my farewell walk as the reigning Mutya ng San Fernando /  AETC. Not counting my shot at the Miss Lipa Tourism pageant in 2011, I haven't donned an evening gown, much less a crown in more than two years.